Amazingly Me

This kind of preoccupation with marriage is not isolated to Filipinas alone. But all over the world single girls have fueled the popularity of movies and TV shows that has a theme of marriage obsessed thirty plus women as the lead character. Some of these shows and movies includes Ally Mcbeal, Sex and The City and The Bridget Jones's Diary.

For some Filipinas they think that they cannot be happy not unless they get married. But some psychiatrist said that marriage should not make you happy it should make you married. Hmmm..kinda hard to fathom but it's true. Most women often dream of that day where they will be walking the aisle in a white dress while their prince charming is waiting for them in the altar and they will live happily ever after. A fairytale in short, that is why it is called a tale because it is fiction. A product of the imagination of the authors.

Well anyways here are some of the Marriage Myths most single women believes in...

1. There is only one Mr. Right.

Of course not...There are how many men out there..Lets say there are six billion men all over the globe and believing that Mr. Right is only one of them he would be impossible to find. It will take more than a lifetime to find that right guy. So if your relationship with your so called Mr. Right doesn't work out don't worry it is just a matter of psyching yourself up. The more you tell yourself that you can't be happy if you're not with him then you really won't be. If you tell yourself that you won't be able to love someone as much as you loved him you never really will. Which means only one thing the decision is all yours. Soul mates are made they are not born.

2. If you love someone you have to marry them..

During the middle ages marriage wasn't really about love. It was just a way back then to preserve order, power and bloodlines. It was only recently that love became a requirement for marrying someone. It was so before because women during those times were treated as secondary citizens. They were not allowed to own any property, so they need men for survival and support. But things have changed, women of today are more empowered and share the same social status with men. Their rights are the same, there is no lesser sex. So today marriage is a choice. It doesn't mean that if you love someone you should marry them. There are people out there who choose not to even if they love their partners so much because they believe that marriage is only a ceremony, a tradition and even a legality.

Marriage is not only about love. You might be loving the right person but are you in the right place and at the right time?There are circumstances that even if how we much love someone it is still not enough because we know it will never work out.

3. Marriage guarantees security, stability and happiness.

There are a lot of women out there who believes that marriage is the answer to their loneliness, financial instability and even give meaning to their lives. A notion which often misleads hundreds of women into thinking that marriage is only a bed of roses. They do not anticipate the downsides of marriage for the couple and for the individuals including the people outside the marriage. Although not all marriages ends up miserably and depressingly because I know of couples who are genuinely happy , fulfilled and contented in their married life.

4. You must get married before your biological clocks stops ticking.

There's only one thing I can say about this...Who says a woman can only bear a child if she's married. Other women even prefer to have babies without getting married Although this depends on your morality and upbringing. Most Filipinas are brought up in a conservative way. Some women are even forced to marry the guy who impregnate them just to save face even if the woman doesn't really want to. But modern Filipina has evolved and has become more open to this kind of situations.

5. Marriage is the only way to live happily ever after.

Of course not..again..there are a lot of other ways to be happy. Even if you choose to be by yourself you can be genuinely happy. The only thing that bothers anyone who is single are the people around them who are trying to marry them off. Society sometimes sets standards too high that are very hard to cope. Like in what age is “marriageable”, and that someone has to be able to snag a husband before she get passed that age. And as an end result those who succumb to the pressure may end up marrying someone because of that same reason and not for anything else.

Anything in life, self-knowledge is crucial..We should forget what others say and concentrate on what we want. If getting married at a certain age is what you want then manage your goals, settle your priorities, be willing to compromise and put yourself out there. But if you want otherwise then be prepared coz you might be justifying yourself to other people all your life because of your choice. But then again its a matter of choice, right. If that's what you really want and if that's what makes you happy to hell with what other people say. You don't owe them an explanation anyway...

Whichever you choose always remember this:

1. Hold your own happiness in your hands and be responsible for it.
2. Take charge of your destiny
3. Know what you want
4. Don't be afraid to experiment
5. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
6. Be smart and strong

Then you will be happy, no matter which path you take...

Inspired by Cosmo