It is during this times that no matter how I pretend that I am okay, but still the reality that I am miserable always comes out. I am wearing a mask, making people around me believe that I am happy and that I can handle whatever it is that I am going through. But no matter how hard it is I have to stand and be firm with my decision. I believe and I know that it is the right to do, it's about time that I think of myself no matter how much I value what I've just lost and given up.
Now I have to face the reality that the very thing I fought and stood up for was not really worth it. I tried to prove to my family, friends and even myself that I should fight, that they should give me a chance to prove to them that I was right. But then again I am not.
It feels liberating though, painful yes, because believe it or not I did and still love that person, but as they all say sometimes love just ain't enough, especially when you are the only one loving. Liberating because even though I am still hurting but it all ends there, he can no longer hurt me in the future. Now I can start to value myself, something that I stopped doing when we were still together.
I wanna hide, from everyone. I wanna be alone and be with myself. I need this time for me. I hope someday you will all understand.
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